Hello Beautiful

officialunitedstates:

“i have your papers graded i just need to enter the grades in“ is the professor’s version of the student’s “I wrote my paper but I left it at home”

makeitearlgrey:

generalbrian:

ladyhistory:

WE HAVE A REPUBLICAN CONGRESS

A DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT

POLITICS IS ABOUT TO GET REEEEEEEEEALLY INTERESTING

No it’s about to get really boring. I’ll give you a preview…
Obama: let’s do a thing.
Republicans: no.

Extended preview:

Obama: let’s do a thing

Republicans: No

Media: Obama won’t change the issues and the country is falling apart and it’s all obama’s fault

petroliuus:

destructiondragon360:

lokiloo:

My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”

I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.

wait what’s the joke

reincarnation

just-shower-thoughts:

Why do “balls” equate to toughness and “pussy” equates to weakness when even the slightest flick to the nards sends a guy to his knees and vaginas can push out an entire human being?

funkpunkhippie:

intoxifaded:

rnortal:

lilcochina:

tbh a really weird n gross thing is when girls are told not to wear short shorts in front of their dad n uncles n stuff like ??? why would u be looking at ur niece or daughter like that

I thought only Arab girls were told this but looks like it’s universal

When I was about 15 (and super thin, like there was not a single curve on my body) I was in a bikini at a family pool party and apparently my uncle commented to my dad “You should tell Elvira to cover up more, sometimes I have to look away when I see her” and my dad replied “That’s because you’re a pervert”

I like your dad.

samuel-vimes:

lesbian-fairy–queen:

aph-der-nederlanden:

The day after I was born my mum and dad set up a saving account for me, so I could go to university and wouldn’t have debt that would make my 20s a struggle. When I was born the university fees were around £1500 a year.

After 12 years they finally raised £5000 for me, enough to pay for all three years. During this time we faced near homelessness and barely had enough to eat. The only reason why my saving account was left untouched was my mum fought for it, refusing to let my dad take out money even though were were desperate.

Then, in 2010 we got a new government. One of the first things they did was raise the university fee to £9000 a year by removing funding. That meant all the money my family had fought to save up would now no longer pay for just one year. When I came home from school the day that happened I found my mum crying at the table.

This is why I will never vote Conservative. A party that makes a mother feel like she has failed as a parent because she can’t magic out £27,000 is not a party for the common people. This is why the results yesterday have been a real struggle, and hopefully others can understand why.

Conservatives are so evil

governmentsecret:

Rihanna’s new song “B**** Better Have My Money” was written and produced by the Chinese government directing the song towards the U.S. Government regarding its debt to China.

drunkniall:

why are concert tickets so expensive they’re a sheet of paper that lets you see other humans just because they have a talent and you don’t